A collection of stories, explanations, ideas, and opinions from a medical student who was convinced starting a blog would be a good thing.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Friends Gone By

I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Mainly because there is a lot going on with my own friend group and it feels particularly applicable. This post will probably be quite a bit of rambling and a little bit of my own exposition. Probably a handful of humorous links in there as well, provided I can remember relevant ones and find them too (a daunting proposition if I'm being honest with myself).

People, by the simple fact of being human, need contact with other people. There are of course, outliers that shun this idea of community, but this is not the norm by any stretch of the imagination. This need for contact is apparent, obviously so, in the fact that we function as a society. Indeed, we are even breaching national lines and growing to a global society. A community of individuals (a city, a neighborhood, a church, etc.) is this need being fulfilled on the large-scale. On the opposite end, the small-scale, is friendship. This very personal relationship between two people consists (usually) of a mutual trust and faith in one another, emotional support, and common interests. From this base, there are as many unique examples of friendship as there are comics in Questionable Content (in other words, too damn many to talk about in a single sitting). Like branches on a tree, each friendship spiders out into numerous definitions based on each individual need of the people involved. Keeping with the tree-analogy, a single person may have many different friendships like the branches of a tree. Some may be sturdy and supportive branches, others wispy and superficial, while many fall in between the two. Regardless of the type of friendship/branch, all types support and define the tree. Branches can grow and become more and more of the tree, just as friends can mean more and more to a person. If a branch gets infected, it must be removed or it will spread. Likewise, an infected and negative friend needs to be removed or distanced from you if you want to live a healthy life (this type of health is about mental and emotional health typically... although, physical health can be at stake as well). The requirements for a friendship to occur between two people are so minimal, if any effort is made by both parties, the seed will be set and a friendship begun. For example, two completely opposite people, from different worlds, can connect because of the most random events - case in point, Legolas and Gimli forged a friendship that began in mutual hatred and distrust before realizing that they were not so different as they thought.

As for the application in my life, I love and cherish my friends very much. As a person, I am rather quiet and introverted (IFTJ the last time I checked), my friends are typically very close and deep friends but are also not numerous at all. The ideal for me is a core group of close friends that I can trust intimately and that can trust in me to the same degree, sharing quality time and adventures together... or if I'm being honest, more likely Netflix on a couch with a pizza delivery on the way (I'm looking at your Jackie). I thank God that I have found this in both Kansas City as well as Oklahoma City. The friendships that I share remind me every day to be thankful for them and the security they bring. This is not to say, however, that my identity is wrapped up in my friends. In fact, by no means is this true. Independence is just as important to me as community. Regardless, my friends and I have effects on each other. Most of them are positive, a few of them are neutral, and a very small amount are negative. From romantic friendship with my girlfriend, to the friends that I have been cultivating for my entire life, to the budding friend that I'm just now able to explore.

The flip side of the beginning of friendships is the end of friendships. Not typically a subject that is viewed in a good light, but I think that - in the case of a diseased branch of a tree analogy - it is necessary and a healthy action that must occur if the self is to survive intact and wholesome. There are friends who gently fade away into obscurity, simply losing contact and growing apart from each other - these are the easiest to deal with, but perhaps the saddest, because there once was such vibrancy between these two people. But there are also friends that violently leave through anger or hurt - perhaps the hardest to deal with, but also not uncommon. Perhaps this person became someone that you didn't like (or more likely were always this person but you never saw it), or perhaps there was a disagreement that could not be settled, or maybe some other thing separated them from you. Pain and hurt follow this, betrayal and doubt too. My favorite way (odd to say it that like that) to be separated from a friend is through death. Because then you know that nothing has separated the two of you and you've conquered the world together.

Too many ideas are floating through my head right now... and too much coffee. Fingers shaking and brain going in circles. I'm going stop here and probably take a fat nap somewhere (my bed if I can make it there without passing out) to relax. Until next time y'all.

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus

Sunday, January 18, 2015

The Opening of a Chapter

Quite a lot has happened since we last convened (and I'm seeing a trend in the distances that separate my posts). But nevertheless, I remain active in the sense that I have not given up on this blog. Therefore, I'll  regale you the stories and thoughts that have been on my mind recently, as per my "usual".

As of January 12th, I started classes at the University of Central Oklahoma as a junior with a biology major. Classes so far have been a nice change of pace from those at UMKC, with smaller class sizes and a new campus to explore! I am excited to see where this new direction will take me in the coming months and years. I will say, because some of my classes are mandatory entry-level classes, being surrounded by freshmen is rather annoying... I wonder if I was that bad when I was just starting college. Oh who am I kidding, of course I was that bad; probably worse even.

The past year has been fraught with events that will have a lasting impact on my life and I can't wait to take them to fruition. As I am now in Edmond, OK, I am no longer living in Kansas City. To that end, and because I really did not wish to commute 5 hours to school every day, I am living in an apartment with a very good friend of mine. This too has brought about a shift in how I carry myself. Instead of a group of four college males (and between one and two girlfriends) often living in tighter quarters, sharing one bathroom, and not actually having a closet of my own, I have a much less stressful morning (yes, morning... thanks to an 8am class) preparation, my own bathroom, and my own closet! Such changes are very welcome in my life because I can now appreciate them more than I could if I had come from something less severe. A glass (or tumbler, you alcoholic snobs) of whiskey, good music and conversation, and relaxation are my evenings now. No TV in the living room to distract me (although I did watch a few episodes of Netflix of my tablet this morning before I got up), and plenty of fridge space so I can cook more healthy meals nowadays. Also, I can now enjoy much better coffee too... Freshly hand ground coffee that was roasted recently and purely brewed in a Chemex as opposed to an automatic coffeemaker. Enjoying the finer things in life as a college student is not something that I saw myself doing but now am taking the opportunity to experience (without spending money of course).

A very good friend of mine put what I am feeling into a tangible and honest form, like she most often does; "It is not the case that you're not wishing to be where you are in your life in Edmond, but that you are missing the parts of your life that are in Kansas City. Furthermore, it is not even the city that you miss but the emotions, feelings, stories, journies, and friendship that you share(d) with the people you met in Kansas City." I find it hard to believe that there are better summations of where I am in this area of my life. I yearn incessantly for the reunion of my separated friends and I... Even if some of them are not as in touch as I wish they would be. I cannot wait for my Spring Break when my plans include traveling to KC to do just that.

I look forward, as I have said too many times in this post, to the next semester and will make sure that I share as much as I dare with you, the one reader who checks this blog out. Until next time. Allons y!